Topic: Joke of the Day!

[Ken (OP)]

I need the wood!

[Skhilled]

That could be a bad gay joke too. LOL

[Ken (OP)]

This from The Grog.

[Ken (OP)]

[Skhilled]

I say the pics earlier. I'm guessing they blocked the links...

[Ken (OP)]

Yepp... just tried to load the direct link to TinyPic and the pics are no longer there. 

[Skhilled]

I just clicked the link above and went there to view them all. A lot of those are rom some old jokes I've read on the net years ago but brought back some memories. LOL At one time, all I used to do was go to joke sites and read te jokes all day subscribe to joke newsletters, etc. i'm talking maybe 15-20 years ago, or so.

[Ken (OP)]

This is funnie! 

[Ken (OP)]

And now this, from one of my woodworking sites... me thought it was kind of funny. 

WAR OF 1812 AT WALMART

    Yesterday, I wore my Vietnam Veteran cap to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, I took trips to "Wally World" to look at the Walmartians which is always good for some comic relief.

    Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, I digress, enough of my psychological fixations.

    While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?"

    "No," I replied.

    "Then why are you wearing that cap?"

    "Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812 . . ."

    I thought it was a snappy retort.

    "The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?"

    God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1946", I answered, as straight-faced as possible.

    He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1946?"

    "It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to become fun!

    "Dude! Really?" He exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"

    I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."

    "Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"

    "Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage."

    The moron nodded knowingly.

    "Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't have said anything."

    "Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look.'
    "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"

    With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?"

    The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. The lady behind me started laughing so hard I thought she was about to have a heart attack. I just grinned at her.

    After checking out and going to the parking lot, I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman.

    Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction.

    Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.

    What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back, wearing my Homeland Security cap.

    Then the next day I will go to the driver's license bureau wearing my Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty the place.

    Whoever said retirement is boring? You just need to wear the right kind of cap!

    See you guys at Walmart!!

[Skhilled]

Yes, VERY funny!!! LMAO

[Ken (OP)]

Question- If a married man is alone in the woods and says something, is he still wrong?

[Ken (OP)]

[Skhilled]

LOL! I don't think I'll be buying one of those.

[Ken (OP)]

[Skhilled]

LOL! Stay thirsty!