Topic: Joke of the Day!

[Ken (OP)]

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "All I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious - Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything." "Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

[Skhilled]

Oh dear! LOL

[Ken (OP)]

[Skhilled]

LMAO!!! That's a great one!

[Ken (OP)]

This is funny. 

[Skhilled]

LOL! Someone might be sleeping on the couch for a bit...

[Ken (OP)]

... more funny stuff.

[Skhilled]

Yup! sounds about right...

[Ken (OP)]

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!
Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'
The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'
The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

Read more: http://www.ajokeaday.com/ChisteDelDia.asp#ixzz3pxAVjgVy

[Skhilled]

Been there... 

[Ken (OP)]

Two students were arguing when their teacher entered the classroom.
The teacher says, Why are you arguing?
One boy answers,
We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

[Skhilled]

Even Lealer loved that one! LOL

[Ken (OP)]

Even Lealer loved that one! LOL

[Ken (OP)]

Being airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening Air
Lingus​ flight from ​Dublin​, the lead flight attendant​ nervously made the
following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has
been a terrible mix-up... one minute prior to take-off, by our catering
service..., I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers
on board, and..., unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals... I
truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience.”

When passengers' muttering had died down, she continued..., "Anyone who is
kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat, will
receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 4 hour flight.”

Her next announcement came about 2 hours later... "If anyone would like to
change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."

Read more: http://www.ajokeaday.com/LosUltimosChistes.asp#ixzz3qRONf7k5

[Skhilled]

Sounds like the other side of my family...